The final day!

Our final day of the trip! And sunshine!!! Wow!! We began by signing up for the early morning yoga session that came complimentary with our hotel. This saw us at 8am on the rooftop of the hotel with the ‘master’, on some spongy mats, doing all kinds of stretches and breathing and contorted poses. Both of us were beginners, and neither of us could touch our toes! There was a 15min relaxation part at the end – we nearly fell asleep. Successfully, we both managed to avoid getting the giggles in the session and the master seemed quite pleased with our efforts.

We spent the remainder of the morning swimming in the SUNSHINE in the pool (we cannot believe this sunshine after a month of clouds and rain – finally felt on holiday!) then off in a tuk tuk to purchase some elegant brass birds we had seen the day before.

Lunch was great – we went to the harbour and selected a nice sized red snapper caught that morning, then walked fast pace (touts swarming around us like flies to poo – ‘I’ll cook it!! I’ll cook it!’) to a local restaurant who grilled it for us in ginger, garlic and lemon. It was absolutely yummy, and we gave all the tit bits to the meowing cats at our feet. We had a laugh at some of the funny English spelling in the menu too – a favourite under the soft drinks list was ‘Diet Cock’, haha! Then a quick whizz around the bazaar shops, to get Gaz a nice stripey shirt, and Rach a pashmina scarf and two pairs of ‘ali-baba’ shorts.

All in the nick of time for our taxi to our hotel by the airport, and we were really pleased when it pulled up and we found it was a Regency cab. We zoomed all the way to Abad Hotel (no laughing) and settled in for the evening. The boys eventually rocked up in a fleet of tuk tuks and hit the buffet, whilst we decided on some room service for our final meal.

A good night's sleep and we were up at 5.30am for breakfast and the quick minibus drive to the airport. Two long flights later and we landed back in the UK. We said a final goodbye to the boys and jumped in the H. Hughes taxi for a zip back along cow and goat-free roads to Radley.

More time on the backwaters...

A break in the monsoon rains today as we awoke to clouds. We decided to head over to Ernakulam to explore further afield, so took a tuk tuk then a ferry across to the mainland. It turned out to be a busy, hot, honking and smelly mess of a city. We paced the busy roadsides a bit, then decided to abandon as we were both getting headaches from all the traffic fumes. We did buy a little travel chess set though, much to Gaz’s delight! Which we played on the ferry on the way back, with a lot of interested locals looking on. A quick lunch back at Dal Roti’s again, with some delicious vegetable kati rolls and very spicy ginger tea, yum!

Then a split decision to go on a backwaters tour, to escape the bustling city. So we booked through our hotel for 500 rupees each for a 3 hour backwater tour, and were picked up in a car. Things didn’t get off to a good start when the car turned up late, and we were then informed that actually the tour finished at 7pm, not the 6pm advertised; this was a problem as we were meant to be meeting the boys later that evening. Then we realised they were cramming 4 tourists into a tiny car, so we sat squidged together for over an hour on the roads, no one seeming particularly pleased with the tour so far. Then we arrived and had to wait around for some more tourists to arrive; we kept informing the guides that we had to be back soon.

Eventually we were on our way on a nice banana leaf barge through the backwaters, with two men, one at the front and one at the back, punting us through the calm waters. It would have been very relaxing had it not been for a screaming baby onboard (who at one point walked straight up to Rach and smacked her SLR camera! Omg!) so we ended up hanging off the end of the boat with one of the boatmen where the crying was muffled a little. The waters were lovely, with dipping birds and palm trees, and we wished we were exploring in a little canoe by ourselves in peace. We stopped off at a village enroute to see women spinning rope out of coconut husks, and we bought some tasty tapioca crisps. The trip became really nice when we turned and headed down tiny little waterways, with the boat only just big enough to make it. We then sped back in the car, another hour being squished with a French man falling asleep on Rach’s shoulder, and were inevitably late back.

Cue a mad rush to get ready and get to the ferry to head over the Casino Hotel on Willingdon Island where we were meeting Jai and the school boys for a final meal together. We just missed a ferry (waa!), so decided to get a tuk tuk the whole way there, bouncing over pot holes and narrowly avoiding crashes! Luckily we arrived before the boys, so had whisky and soda with Jai and his wife in their room, then met everyone for a buffet meal in the hotel. All the boys were in one piece from their travels, apart from Churchy who had narrowly escaped a motorbike accident with just a scrape on his arm, phewf! A band were playing at the hotel, who played any songs we requested, and to our surprise Jai jumped up and started playing the clarinet with them. Quite funny and a nice evening.

We hit the shops!

A day exploring Fort Kochi, in torrential monsoon rain! We loitered about a little in the morning to see if the heavy rain would subside, but in the end decided to just head out with big hotel umbrellas and get soaked! We walked over to see the famous Chinese fishing nets, huge wooden structures made of wood, netting and huge stone weights that have to be operated by four men. Fascinating to see, although the touts were out in force and seemed rather desperate in the off-season! We passed lots of fish stalls by the nets. Then we wandered deeper into the town, which had crumbling Dutch houses and lots of little bazaar shops full of brass ornaments and clothes. We spent the morning browsing around the shops, with Rach buying a nice silver and pearl ring, bumping into the school boys at one point to our surprise (and theirs!), and then walked to Mattancherry where we went to see the palace there (with lots of saucy murals on the walls) and had a spot of lunch to shelter from the rain.

We eventually headed back, passing the harbour again which had now turned into a huge throng of shouting locals. We peered in to see what all the fuss was about, only to see pile upon pile of sharks and huge manta rays that had just been brought in. Quite sad to see! We headed back quickly for hot tea and showers after a day in the soggy monsoon.

In the evening we ventured out in the pouring rain and dark again (Rachel fell in a pothole up to her knees in water in the dark!), and found a nice restaurant called Dal Rotis, with a slightly mad owner, that served up delicious panneer (Indian cottage cheese) in tandoori bread. After we went to a bar, and were the only ones in there, and managed to have a few tipples before they closed at… 10:30pm! Not a party town then...

Flying south

Today was one of those long travel days that have to be endured . Having said that, it got off to a good start, with a non-rainy morning comprised of Gaz’s run along the beach, a tasty breakfast over some travel magazines, and then a stroll along the coast, dodging the incoming tide and taking time to watch the incoming and outgoing waves hit each other.

We checked out at midday and caught a taxi to the airport. No dramas as we got onto our first flight of the day, from Goa to Bangalore. We hit the Coffee Day café on arrival and had samosas and muffins (east meets west) before a bit of shopping and our next flight – Bangalore to Kochi. This flight was a little rougher, with the plane flying through some pretty hefty storm clouds. However, both flights were almost empty, so we got to enjoy the turbulence with some arm space…

We got a taxi from Kochi to Fort Cochin. With the incessant rain, honking horns, tight traffic and neon signs flanking the roadside, it resembled something out of Blade Runner. We were glad to arrive at the Old Harbour Hotel just before 9.00pm. It was a haven of calm and luxury. We dumped the stuff in the huge room, took an outdoor shower (complete with teeny baby frogs), then went for an expensive, but extremely tasty, dinner. We even splashed out on some Indian white wine, resulting in our low tolerances leaving us fairly shedded by the time the concierge showed us the way back to our room with a torch. Overall, a nice end to a taxing day….

140km on a scooter in the rain!

A nice long lie in, broken only by waking up at various times to turn down the air conditioning (absolutely freezing at about 6.00am!). A big breakfast served at the huge oak dining table filled us and we were then ready for our single full day exploring the state of Goa. In Gaz and Rach style, we decided to cover as much ground as possible, both in terms of sights and in terms of absolute distance…

We had a scooter for the day and were therefore independent to go where we wanted without the stress of haggling; bliss! Our first port of call on this sunny (so lucky!) morning was to fuel up for the day. This proved to be a bit of a mission; with only basic maps from the ageing Lonely Planet guide found in the hotel we were soon a little lost. Luckily the locals were very helpful with directions and we soon found a petrol station. However, a wrong turn by Gaz en route south to our first beach stop at Colva beach saw us back at our accommodation. So, an hour and a half after the first attempt, we had another go at seeing Goa! Ha ha!

A quick trip down the coast road landed us – eventually – at Colva beach. It was a typical beach town, with lots of shops, stray dogs and hawkers. We got a bit hassled by hawkers trying to sell us things and Indian tourists wanting to take our photo, as we were the only westerners in sight, so we headed onwards. Our main goal was to make it to Mobor beach, right at the south end of a long peninsular. Cue a very long scooter ride, with lots of speed bumps and tiny roads through palm trees and past abandoned portugese houses. The beach was deserted and we had a nice walk along the golden sands (no litter here!), before looking for lunch. The Blue Whale, so highly recommended in the LP, turned out to be an abandoned grass shack. Gaz was in imminent danger of a hunger meltdown so we headed for the uber-fancy Leela Resort (where Tom Cruise, no less, once ate – how’s about that?). The atmosphere was swanky and the two bowls of soup were expensive enough to buy a small Goan village, but it was very welcome nonetheless.

From there we decided to make the epic pilgrimage halfway across the state up to old Goa. It didn’t look that far on the map. However, nigh on forty miles on a scooter in Indian traffic later, we looked at each other with one of those ‘maybe that was a little crazy?’ looks. Still, the dog, cow and goats on the road dodging paid off handsomely; Old Goa was a picture of post colonial loveliness. We parked up and wandered around a number of renovated churches and monasteries, all of which were spectacular. The most captivating was undoubtedly the Monastery a few hundred meters from the main square. Half of the belfry and some spooky ruins were all that remained of a previously majestic building. With no-one else there and the inky monsoon clouds rolling overhead, it was very atmospheric!

Those monsoon clouds then broke into a massive wall of water falling from the sky, and after a bit of sheltering we decided to heck with it, and we’d make a bolt for home. Cue a ten mile ride through apocalyptic rainfall. It was something to behold and tested our waterproofs to the max!
We eventually made it back, leaving puddles of water through the hotel to our room, and warmed up in the hot shower before a taste of the 8% locally brewed lager. We hopped back on the scooter again (not nice – wet bottoms again and dripping helmets!) and then had a treat meal at the local Martin’s Corner restaurant. After breaking our veggie pledge for the incredible tandoori red snapper and tandoori tiger prawns to the dulcic towns of ‘One Man Band Ivor’, we felt much better. Rach was forced into driving Gaz home as he had another beer. She managed the task admirably, even if we did clash helmets a few times through some aggressive accelerator control…

Roaring seas in Monsoon swept Goa

The alarm at 4.15am felt like splinters in the mind, but we knew we had to respond, so up we got and trudged along the path in the dark, bags in tow, to the breakfast area. We seemed to be up before most of the staff, but a stern word from the manager got them going and before we knew it tea, toast, honey and bananas were laid out in front of us. We loaded the luggage into the car and got going to Hospet station for our journey to Goa. Our driver seemed to hit every bump on the way and incessantly asked questions about England, so sleep was out of the question! We arrived at the station at 5.30am, in plenty of time for the 6.30am train. Well, 6.30am as scheduled. It actually turned up an hour late and as a different train number. The Indian train debacle goes on! However, after the two hours of sitting on a platform covered in sleeping bodies, clouds of mosquitoes, mangy dogs, a lot of spitting and vomiting people, and moaning beggars we were just glad to get on…horrible!

We weren’t scheduled to sit together, but with some sharp wheeling and dealing from Gaz with the conductor we managed to get two seats of a four birth. The two Indian guys sleeping on the top deck left after a couple of hours, so for the majority of the journey we had the place to ourselves. Other than occasional glimpses of rushing waterfalls from jungle-clad hilltops, the journey was, however, incredibly long and boring. The eight and a half hours rolled by at a snail’s pace, not helped by the driving rain, numerous station stops that took seemingly endless minutes, and the fat Indian guy sitting in our carriage who insisted upon playing music through his mobile phone speakers. With no food other than a couple of bananas and some emergency cakes, we were also starving, but sometime during mid afternoon we, at long last, pulled into Madgoan station and exited the train.

We caught a taxi over to our accommodation (once the guy had spent fifteen minutes circling it without success); which was a delightful, if slightly mouldy from the monsoon, old heritage building filled with books and comfy chairs. We were staying in the ‘Ooty’ room, a whitewashed bedroom-cum-bathroom effort that at first glance seemed a bit underwhelming, but soon grew on us. We were starving, so tucked straight into some vegetarian noodles from the kitchen. Delicious! Sated and with bags unpacked, we felt ready to do a little exploring.

We took our macs and umbrellas as the monsoon rain has finally caught up with us, and took a walk to the nearby beach. A wrong turning saw us walk a little further than anticipated and we ended up on a beach to the north. Still, it resulted in a nice walk along the infamous Goan sandy expanses. We were surprised how much litter there was around, and the reports we had read on these areas were proved correct. Still, the swaying palm trees and the roaring sea made for a refreshing change to the city and the train. We got back and got our glad rags on for a bit of luxury on the food and drink front.

The Raj Garden was the location for our Epicuran night out, and in an area seemingly devoid of life due to the off season, it was, incredibly, totally buzzing. The atmosphere was definitely helped by Queen playing on the stereo. We got straight down to some cocktails and whiskey, polished off a couple of tasty veggie meals, then downed some local brandy and coconut ‘fenni’. Needless to say, the walk home was more like a stagger…

Temples and coracles in Hampi

Our big day exploring the ruins of Hampi. We decided to go it alone without a guide so that we could explore the ruins in peace. We took the little boat across the river to Hampi and walked to the main temples. On the way we passer a snake charmer, who was playing to a hissing cobra that struck out at him every now and again – eek!

Shoes off at the Virupaksha temple entrance, and we padded around the puddles in the courtyard to explore the impressive structure built in the 1400s. Good fun watching the young monkeys do enormous leaps between the structures! We then climbed Hemakuta Hill, with big slippy boulders (more so because there was a sharp, short rainshower), for nice views over the bazaar. We skidded back down on our bums.

Next we took a long walk along the riverbank to the Vittala Temple, complete with huge stone chariot in the temple complex that apparently used to work. To avoid repeating the walk back we decided to take a coracle (a small dish-shaped boat made out of banana leaves woven together), although if we’d planned ahead we would have taken this downstream, with the wind. Still, the locals seemed happy to take us, so after some bartering we settled on a price, and it turned out a very young lad was going to row us there. What ensued was a relaxing ride, which then turned into a bit of a struggle with lots of splashing and effort when we hit the strong river flow and wind. The boy did his best to roll us around rocks and paddle as hard as he could, and after a while we started to feel sorry for him and said we could just walk – he was still cheeky enough to ask for a tip though!

For lunch we went to the infamous Mango Tree, which has terraced seating under a huge tree, all looking out onto the riverbanks and water buffalo below. We ordered the thali, and sat knees crossed eating it with our fingers. A rather wealthy Indian family were in front of us with some spoilt rotten children, so we talked about how wealth seems too often to ruin things.

After lunch we pottered around all the little stalls in the bazaar, trying on the funny big ‘genie’ trousers which looked ridiculous on us. We then mustered up the last of our energy and took a tuk tuk out to the Royal Complex to see the Lotus Mahal, the impressive elephant stables and the Queens Bath (which in its day looked like it would have been very luxurious!). Fully templed out and exhausted by the heat we headed back across the river, with our driver expectantly waiting for us, and then home for tea on the top of our castle turret and dinner at the hotel with fireflies dancing in the marshes.

Our castle in Hampi!!

After a few false alarms on stations, we eventually pulled into Hospet Junction just after 7.00am. With Rach managing only half and hour’s sleep and Gaz a little more, it was with bleary eyes that we contemplated our next move. Hampi was 10km or so away, so the only option was a tuk-tuk ride. We anticipated another fleecing, but were pleasantly surprised when the first guy we asked quoted us the expected Rs100.

We took a little boat across a river, then refused to pay the extortionate price the only tuk tuk driver on the other side tried to sell us. So off we trekked with all our heavy luggage (trying to teach them the lesson that if you completely rip people off they won’t use your services), wondering how we were going to manage the 9km trek in the middle of nowhere to our hotel. In the end after a kilometre or so we gave up and went into a little local house that had a tuk tuk outside and ended up having to pay said extortionate fare anyway… still, we tried!

Hampi has very few accommodation options – basic places with a mattress on the floor, or one exclusive place. No middle ground options. There was only one room left at the exclusive place… the most expensive… so we decided to go to town on our budget a little! We were rewarded with a castle on the river bank, with phenomenal views from our turret and not another place or person in sight…WOW!

Being a little exhausted from travelling we spent the morning relaxing in our newly found paradise to get our money’s worth! One of the hotel staff then took us for a stunning walk down the river. The landscape is scattered with huge boulders, which we jumped across and wobbled on little bamboo bridges to traverse the streams. The river had gouged out the granite boulders into beautiful flowing shapes, and we even climbed up into a cave between the huge boulders. We were very impressed… and this was only the hotel ‘gardens’!

In the afternoon we were taken on a complimentary tour of the surrounding region, which completely surpassed our expectations. The entire landscape was strewn with these enormous boulders, some balancing precariously on one another, and we visited several temples up high on hills that had sweeping views over the hills, valleys and rivers around. Wow, wow, wow, we’ve never seen a place that looks like this! We spent most of the afternoon jumping between boulders, padding around temples in our bare feet with monkeys, and climbing up and down steps. Gaz also went the extra mile to see a snake temple by climbing down into a cave and traversing a 45 degree slippery boulder face, whilst Rach sensibly decided to give that one a miss! Needless to say by the end of the afternoon we were completely knackered (especially poor Rach after only 30 mins sleep last night!), and headed back to have a swim in the natural pool there (made in a boulder), and played a few games of pool in the games room.

Rach went to bed at 9:30pm, and set her alarm for 5:30am so she could see the sunrise over the rocks and boulders….

A mysterious day and a night train

A day to remember and no mistake! Whilst Rach finished off the trip to Mysore with a hotel facial, Gaz hit the pool. It was then all hands on deck to pack and get ready for the trip to Sivasanudram. We left the Windflower in our own A/C car and were soon zooming (much faster this time without Boris) the two hours to our next destination. Unfortunately, this driver was none too good at directions and proceeded to drive us to the first hotel he could find in Sivasanudram. Looking totally confused that this was not, as we had told him, the Georgia Sunshine Village, he got some directions (finally) and we were soon at the homestay.

We were greeted warmly by Leonard and his wife Georgia, but there was a look of puzzlement in their eyes. We soon found out why; we were supposed to have arrived yesterday! Ah. We had somehow managed to stay an extra day in Mysore and lost track of which day it was… long holidays do this to you! We felt terrible that we’d let the owners down, but this paled in comparison to the feeling we got when we realised that we would not be able to stay as our overnight train from Bangalore to Hospet was…this evening. Aaaargh! It was another 4 hours at least by car and we had just arrived to a luxurious country retreat that we would have to abandon.

However, things worked out. Leonard spent a good half hour berating the Windflower for overcharging us on the next leg of the taxi journey, and his wife was more than happy for us to have lunch, walk in the sweeping open countryside surrounding the retreat, swim in the pool, have tea and coffee, play carom, and read our books amongst their 10 dachshunds. We eventually left at 5.30pm feeling we had definitely had a good taste of the area, despite not actually staying there.

And so onto Bangalore. The car journey was long and dull (but a good sunset with hundreds of fruit bats in the air). The traffic in the city centre was incredible; millions of cars all looking for the same two inches of road, which our driver (through poor use of clutch pedal and overuse of loud horn) managed to fill every time.

We eventually pulled up at the main railway station at 8.30pm, so it wasn’t as long as we thought. Our train was due to leave at 10.30pm, so we busied ourselves buying snacks and drinks and then sitting and waiting. At 9.00pm we felt the creeping fingers of concern when the 10.30pm train did not appear on the boards, but a train looking remarkably like the Hampi Express was due to depart any second. An elbow-slinging rush to the help desk (locals bouncing off like carom counters) confirmed the suspicions: our train had been rescheduled an hour EARLY and was departing…NOW! Cue a Monty Python style rush through the station with mounds of heavy bags (more bounced locals and uncoordinated running on our part) to our platform, then a crazed dash along the train, jumping on and off, until we found our carriage. We boarded with about two minutes to spare until the train moved slowly away. Stress! We couldn’t believe we had made it! Since when do trains depart an hour early??????!

A number of people in our carriage seemed to have missed the train (strange, that), so there was additional space. We managed to secure seats in the next compartment to our own as a family was bedding down in our original area. Although the lower bunks were occupied at around midnight, we were safely tucked up in the – slightly small– top bunks, thanking our lucky stars we were not still in Bangalore! The rock of the train as it rolled north-east lulled us to sleep. Well, Gaz anyway…

Sandalwood,silks,steps and spas in Mysore

A fairly relaxed start to the day, and seeing as the clouds were fairly high we decided to climb Chalmundi Hill which was visible from our hotel; it was 1,000 steps to the temple at the summit. We asked reception which way to go to start the walk, but the receptionist was adamant that we take a taxi as we would ‘get cramps in our legs and get very tired’. We get the feeling exercise is not common in India, so just set off ourselves.

The 1,000 steps were tough, but at Gaz and Rach pace it took us only 45 mins to reach the summit (45 mins less than the guidebook – ha!). Each step was spotted in red and yellow paint by those taking a pilgrimage to the summit. At the top were lots of monkeys, cows and...oh no... the relentless touts. We were somehow ushered into the temple, having our shoes removed and little packs of newspaper pressed into our hands, and followed the flow of people. Inside the maze we also somehow acquired a guide alongside us, and ended up having little red bhindis pressed onto our foreheads and passed lots of drummers. We emerged again into daylight, with the ‘guide’ pressing us for money, as was the chap who took our shoes. We paid both, and they then fought over the money, so we made a quick getaway! Meanwhile we got hounded left right and centre by touts, so decided to escape from the area altogether, and walked the 1,000 steps back down with views over the city, jumping 2 or 3 steps at a time.

After lunch at our near deserted resort (benefits of travelling in the monsoon!), we had a quick swim in the chilly pool in the rain, then played some of the hotel games on offer – pool and table football.

At our resort happened to be a world-renowned spa, and the prices weren’t bad, so we decided to treat ourselves to an hour and a half session each of massage and shirodhara (hot oil poured on the forehead for about 30 mins). The spa was pretty luxurious, and we were assigned two staff each. Gaz found the whole experience quite relaxing, although a little surreal having two men massage him at the same time. Rach on the other hand found it all very tickly and/or painful! The Shirodhara was quite something though – a very warm, relaxing feeling on the forehead... we think Gaz fell asleep. Both emerged covered in oil from head to toe. It took Rachel four shampoos to get all the gunk out of her hair!!

After feeling quite relaxed, we decided to up the pace again, and headed to the nearby games centre (very random) to play a very difficult round of mini golf, and then some two-person computer games. All ridiculously cheap!

Rachel nearly fell asleep over dinner.

DAY 2 in MYSORE
No rush, so a big lie in with 92 channels of TV was had. Heaven! After a big breakfast we decided to abandon the lazy start for the manic-ness of Mysore market. Some more savvy bartering on the tuk-tuk front got us into town for almost half the price of the other day. We’re learning!

We got dropped off at KR circle and wandered from there into the odour-filled alleyways of the market. It was an experience that accosted all the senses. We walked down alleys filled with spices, bananas, incense, pots and pans, coconuts, flowers by the tonne and (to Rach’s disgust and Gaz’s piqued interest) hanging meats and freshly decapitated chickens ... Rach legged it after seeing a live chicken being beheaded :-( We dodged and weaved around guys carrying huge loads of everything on their heads. Although there was some light hassle from the locals – only from the incense sellers, strangely – it was a very pleasant experience and we got some great photos, despite not managing to buy anything! We eventually exited the chaos and decided to make a move out of town to the government factories.

Our first stop was the silk factory, but we got there in the middle of a lunch break so decided to walk a kilometre or so to the government’s sandlewood factory. It was fortuitous as we were the only ones there and were escorted around personally by one of the guards. We saw all the machines for pulping the sandlewood and then the huge boilers used to distil it into the very expensive oil (Rs2500 per 10ml!). The smell was awesome and we went straight to the factory shop where we bought incense sticks for ridiculously low prices, but were badgered into giving our change to the guard as he, apparently, didn’t get paid for his work. Definitely suspect, especially when he only took our money ‘when the workers can’t see’!

Another tuk-tuk into town took us to the Tiger Trail again for lunch. Unfortunately, all that was available was a rip-off buffet, so we huffed out and walked into town to change some travellers cheques. Rach stopped off in some jewellery shops to look for a silver anklet, but got out of there pretty quick when she noticed that they were all £500 plus! We finally managed to get a tuk tuk on the meter on the way home, to see what the locals pay. Despite paying a Rs5 surcharge as ‘the location is far away’(!) and the guy taking us the definite long way round, it ended up being cheaper. Meters from now on then!

Lunch, swimming, chilling, reading, playing pool, then we headed over to Planet X again for some more action. First up was go-karting; we paid for 20 laps each, put the comedy shower cap on under the helmet (‘for hygiene, sir’), then got racing. Unfortunately, Rach – being a lady – was given a slower, safer cart, whilst Gaz – being a superstar racer – was given a speed machine. This led to Gaz lapping Rach 4 times in 10 laps. Finally, Rach could take no more and told the guys to give her a faster cart. This led to furious racing over the last 3 laps, with Gaz being unable to get past the uber-angry Batley. Race to be continued! We then went to the bowling alley, stopping en route for some air hockey and motorbike racing. We finished the evening with some cocktails in the deserted bar, then some tasty food brought to us by room service – luxury!

Birds and a palace enroute to Mysore

Although the schedule for today was not too packed, we got up early to account for the atrophic speeds Douchemacher would be transporting us around at. We had a nice final breakfast, before Rani gave us some herbal gum for the fire and about three tonnes of black peppercorns; we’re now stacked with enough herbs and spices to keep us going for years! We met up with Boris and off we went, very slowly… still, an interesting drive with the usual cows all over the road, children walking to school in their uniforms and men sitting by the side of the road doing nothing all day.

First stop was the Ranganathittu Bird Sanctuary, just on the outskirts of Mysore. After nearly 3 hours in the car, we were beginning to take Boris’ claims of 1-2 hours with a pinch of salt. Luckily, we managed to get in before midday. We then took a nice boat trip out onto the river; the boat was rowed by a fellow called Robin, who had the yellowest teeth we’d ever seen. Luckily, his rowing was better than his toothbrushing, and he managed to take us around a number of tree clad, tiny river islands. On these were huge amounts of heron, ibis, pelican, and so on. We saw a few chicks, which was great. There were also a number of marsh crocodiles sunning themselves on the available rocks. One enormous crocodile gave us a surprise as he suddenly jumped into the water and swum right under the boat – pretty scary stuff!

After meeting up with a guide for the next stop, we drove the 15 minutes (Douchemacher time, so actually nearly 40) to Mysore. It felt strange to be back in a major city again after the solitude of the Nilgiris and the Coorg. We parked and then headed to the Royal Mysore Palace with our guide. It was a great tour, and we saw up close the extent of the Majarajah’s excesses over the past few centuries. The teak wood ceilings, stained glass windows from Venice, elephants in the courtyard and huge solid silver doors were just some of the cash-fuelled sights we saw as we padded around in our bare feet.

Finally we bade farewell to Boris at the Windflower resort – our home for the next three days. Despite a bit of confusion over the booking at reception, compounded by a chatty cockatoo sitting next the receptionist, we were soon checked in and sat down to a quick lunch. The resort offered everything Hughes could dream of – air con, a gym and peace and quiet. It also offered everything one Batley could dream of – hot showers, big bed and the best Ayurveda spa in India. Nice stuff all round!

We decided to make the most of the rest of the day, so jumped into an auto rickshaw and headed into town. Despite almost being taken out by a bus and missing a woman by a gnats nadger, we made it to the town centre intact. Almost immediately Gaz got accosted by a local, who seemed keen to get hold of his ears. After a quick money change we headed up one of the main streets, trying again to avoid hawkers, until we found a hairdressers. As Gaz had not had a proper haircut in 15 years, this was a good time to get a serious chop. It ended up being more than expected! The barber, who had 40 years experience in haircutting (and the same amount in getting extra money out of tourists, for sure), got to work. After head hair was removed came the cut-throat razor, and there went the beard. Was it over? Negative. From there a series of facial steams, face packs, head massages and sprays were applied. All in full view of the shop window, so a lot of curious locals started watching! Given the result, it was fair to say that it was the best £6.00 spent this holiday, and it gave Rachel a good laugh for almost an hour, to boot.

We opted for dinner in the Tiger Trail restaurant in one of the plushest hotels in town. The food was good and we felt really relaxed as we sank a few beers. Some heavy bartering with the waiting tuk tuk drivers outside the hotel allowed us a rip-off free ride home, and we sank into our giant bed, thoroughly flooped.

Elephants!

We woke early and the servants fixed us up with breakfast. Then ‘Boris Douchemacher’ picked us up again and drove us at a snails pace to the Dubare Forest Reserve for some interaction with retired forest elephants – yippee! First up was a quick boat ride across a fast-moving brown river, then we spotted the elephants plodding down to the waters edge. The plan was to wash the elephants, then see them being fed and finally take a quick ride on one.

We were raring to get stuck in, and luckily there were very few other tourists there, so it turned out to be a pretty fun experience! Our elephant, ‘Trevor’ (yup, we named him), was humongous and very muddy, so we had our work cut out for us. We waded in up to our knees (after seeing the elephants urinate and plop profusely in the water: lush!... all the other tourists decided to watch from the banks, funny that), and Trevor sploshed sideways into the brown water ready for his scrubbing. We started by splashing water all over the huge beast as he looked very content and made big sighs through his trunk. We were careful to avoid the floaters!!! Then we got the scrubbing brush and washed his head, body, and even behind his ears! Hilarious and quite captivating to be that close to such a massive beast! Next we watched as the elephants were fed football-sized ‘snacks’, two in at a time, of wheat, rice and sugar. Gaz’s head was hoovered by a cheeky elephant trunk at one point. The elephants then had their heads massaged with coconut oil… this is more like an elephant spa! We finished with an elephant ride – we’re not particularly fond of these as we feel sorry for the animals – but were pleased with how well looked after the elephants were, so it was ok.

For the remainder of the morning we were driven to a part of Coorg which has a Tibetan settlement to see a Tibetan monastery. The area was covered in prayer flags on all the trees and walls. A bit random seeing as we are in India, but it was an interesting stop nonetheless. We got chatting to some of the monks in the temple who seemed very friendly and eager to tell us about the place.

Back for lunch in our private dining room and a wonderfully relaxed afternoon as the heavy rain set in. We had tea and biscuits served, and played cards in the house. Rachel decided to set out for another walk in the plantation in the torrential rain armed with an umbrella, and returned after an hour a bit soaked through and spooked out at the thought of all the wild animals out there and having walked through a lot of big cobwebs!

Colonial Coorg

And so, unfortunately, came the time to depart Rajat and his family. We had an excellent final breakfast, complete as usual with great banter from Ravi, before setting off for our final outing – the Coonoor market for the spices we had used in our cooking class. It was an emotional farewell to Renu at the gate as we departed the homestay for the final time. We arrived in Coonoor and were taken to the Kumar’s ‘local’ stall. The guy there monkeyed around his packed little area finding our required bits and pieces, whilst Ravi directed things and ticked spices names off the list. By the end we had acquired a veritable mountain of spices, including cardamom, fennel seeds and a not insignificant number of large delicious-smelling cinnamon sticks!

We then drove to meet our driver for the next leg of the journey. Another sad farewell to the rest of the family, with promises aplenty of visits should they ever come to the UK, and we were off on the drive to the Coorg region. It was fair to say our driver was not the most confident or speedy, especially given the fact that he was driving a brand new car (plastic still on most of the fittings!). So with an agonizingly slow first gear descend from the Nilgiris (whiiiIIIIIIrrrRRR!) at about 4mph the whole way down with excessive braking, a couple of direction requests and a stop for the driver to try to find his stolen mobile phone (bribes changing hands right and left), we made the journey in just over 7 hours… and were very glad to get out!!

As we drove through the gates of the huge ‘School Estate’ colonial coffee plantation, we could tell this was going to be something special. The driver dropped us off outside a huge house saying these people are ‘very rich’, and the (very proper) owner came out to greet us. We were shown to our lovely room, with views out onto the manicured gardens, all dripping with new rain. We were brought tea immediately, and then one of the servants was instructed to take us on a ‘very brisk’ walk around the coffee plantation. He set off at a cracking pace in flip flops and an umbrella whilst we skidded around after him on the muddy slopes and coffee plants, glad to be doing some exercise.





The 250 acre coffee plantation was completely saturated with rain, and the noise from the cicadas was tremendous. Along the way we spotted little frogs that hopped beneath our feet, and a huge poisonous millipede… about the size of a frankfurter! We guessed we were topping the 4mph achieved by our driver on the way round!

After a quick shower we went through to the huge immaculately-kept main house for gin and tonics with the owner and her husband, and we chatted on the porch garden about private schools and golf courses. We felt like nineteenth century British noblemen as the servants scurried around! Even better was when we were escorted over to the private dining hall to be greeted by a huge log fire and two cooks just for us. We were brought a host of tasty food, with our plates whipped away as soon as we were done. Incredible!

In the evening we spotted a few mosquitoes in the room, so decided to try out our mosquito net we had brought with us. It didn’t quite fit, and we spent about half an hour deciding how best to use it. Needless to say we got very tangled and slept with netting against our faces! At one point Gaz woke in an absolute strop and thrashed the net around a bit, ha ha!

Cooking, choo choo trains and Carom!

We requested that we could make an early start today to have another go at the plantation views the deep clouds robbed us of yesterday, and we were successful! A very pleasant early morning was had walking on the small roads with sweeping views down the valley – cliffs and waterfalls aplenty. Well worth the early rise!

We then headed back for a late breakfast and promptly began our Indian cooking class with the master-chef Renu in her quaint kitchen. We were taught how to prepare potato and pea curry, yellow daal, carrot stuffed chapattis and the delicious chai masala tea. It was a great laugh! Renu had us peeling strong little onions that made us cry, kneading balls of dough, stirring pans of spice concoctions and flipping chapatis on the skillet. We were amazed how many ingredients went into these seemingly simple dishes, and all so fresh. Everyone seemed happy to eat our mornings work at lunchtime, so we didn’t do too badly! Looking forward to trying these recipes when back home, and Renu was very sweet in saying we could call her if we got stuck!!

In the afternoon we had arranged to take the steam train from Coonoor down the valley for a few scenic hours. It completely surpassed our expectations! We clambered into a little carriage with a family from Delhi, who we made friends with on the trip. The windows were open so we could hang out and look down the length of the train, waving at all the other passengers, waving at all the people near the tracks on the way, and joining the others in shouting our heads off whenever we went through a tunnel and everything plunged into darkness. The train passed over many rickety bridges on the way with superb views down the valley. Our ‘celebrity’ status was evident again when we stopped at a station with people literally queueing to have their photo taken with us!

Back on the train we had fun speaking pigeon English with the kids in the carriage whilst they threw huge smiles our way, and seemed quite fascinated with stroking Rach’s blonde hair. Funniest of all was waving to little kids along the tracks who waved at everyone on the train, but when they glimpsed us went bonkers!!! Back in the jeep Rajat and Ravi explained that they are most probably fascinated with the colour of our skin. It was then a quick drive back home after the train trip, as ever with Rajat and Ravi telling us tales and growing our understanding of India so quickly.

We spent a wonderful evening at the homestay, feeling like part of the family. We all played a game called ‘Carom’ over beers and tasty nibbles laced with coriander and onions. Everyone sat on the floor around the huge board, with the object to try and flick the pieces into the four pockets, much like a version of snooker. A very addictive game, with Gaz being rather good at it, and Rach improving quickly to specialise in a ‘lucky finger’ move which worked every time! Terrific fun. A very late dinner followed, and bed after midnight. The family gave us a lovely gift this evening – a spice bowl set. So we vowed to go and buy some spices tomorrow morning to fill it ready for our cooking debut at home!